What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
