For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
