all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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