I forgot how hot balto sounded
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize