Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
