great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
