CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
