Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
