And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
