Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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