I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
