im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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