dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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