3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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