he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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