He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
