can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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