thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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