I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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