I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
