It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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