i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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