You're completely useless in the revolution.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
