if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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