So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
