how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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