I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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