When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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