Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
