I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
