He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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