i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
