it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize