wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
