I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
