I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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