My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
