Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
