just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
All I want is dick and wine.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Your penis caused this!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
