Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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