It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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