How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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