I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
