I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
