Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
this is an emotional support booty call
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
