I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
