Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
