I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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