I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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