direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She's not a foreskin expert like you
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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