So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
