Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
