I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
