At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, beer. Big fan.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
