I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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