How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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