I'm gonna have a badass scar
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
