I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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