That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
