I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
