so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
