you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
