matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
