Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
